I’ve always been one of my own biggest obstacles. It is unfathomable how much I get in my own way in many aspects of my life. Over the years of training Jiu-Jitsu I’ve had my share of struggles, both physically and mentally. I’ve told myself a lot of lies through the years that I feel have really affected me. I’ve missed out on so much believing my own BS.
When I first started training, life was easy. Training was easy. Everything was pretty easy. It helps that I didn’t have much of an ego so I was able to get through tough training sessions without too much of an emotional component. The hardest part of my training as a white belt was just making the time…
It didn’t happen over night but somewhere along the lines, I started to really focus and dedicate my life to Jiu-Jitsu. Maybe it’s because I really hate losing. I want to win. All the time.
I figured if I am going to “win all the time”, I might as well start devoting more time and energy into my practice upwards and beyond everyone else.
This is a big commitment. We all want to be the best. We just don’t want the life that associates itself with being the best.
In my pursuit of being the best, I started to take in all sorts of information and media. Self-help books, podcasts, audio books, taking college courses relevant to learning and training, you name it. I have digested so much information that I could probably write a book –It likely would be a “what not to do”.
Little by little, I started making many changes to my life. Some good, some bad, some whatever. Despite the outcome, they all shared the same intent: to make me a better practitioner.
I started to notice that my Jiu-Jitsu was improving… but for every ounce of improvement in my Jiu-Jitsu (aka: my professional) life, I started to lose so much more of myself. I started doing things and eating things because this expert said this and that expert said that. I started following the advice of others with what makes them successful in their lives not fully understanding that our lives our different. Dieting is a huge example of this. For a very long time, I wouldn’t even have a beer if I had to train within 6 months of said consumption. The last three nights, I’ve had a single beer before bed and guess what… It hasn’t inhibited my training.
Here we are… almost 6 years later and I look back at all that I’ve lost. I look currently at all that I am losing and is unsalvageable in my life and I wonder if it is all worth it.
I know I can’t change the past but I can change the present. I don’t have any regrets. I am a better person now than I ever have been and I will continue to be better so long as I am alive and able to do so.
We all try to be the best out there… Maybe we should try to just be the best we can be and let the universe take care of the rest.
Whoever you are, you are exactly who you are supposed to be. Love yourself and be yourself. Better yourself but don’t change yourself.
I invite you to share your thoughts in the comments or contact form below and thank you for reading.