I missed my writing session yesterday. I have a ton of excuses for why I did but at the end of the day I feel OK knowing I gave it an attempt, however honest that attempt was.
My day started early… very early. A few of my private lessons had to reschedule and then I had a lunch engagement that threw me off. My goal was to get it done after lunch but I was a little too full and settled for a nap instead. After my nap, it was work. I thought I could get something written in the hour I had but there was an intro student that came in to check out class.
By the time I got home, I sat in front of my computer desperately attempting to put something worthwhile on the site but failed. Oh well.
So why is it important that I write everyday and why is it important that I’m not upset with myself for not?
I started this blog a long time ago. it was easy to write because I didn’t have any real goals for it. I just wanted to write about my JiuJitsu experiences and knowledge in the hopes that I can a) reflect on my own practice and understand my journey on a whole other level and b) that I can have an impact on others in hopes that others will be inspired and share the knowledge forward.
Over time, I started to write for a “purpose”. My purpose started to get fuzzy and unclear and I noticed writing became harder. Writing became a means to an end.
Just recently, I wanted to write for the sake of writing. I wanted to get back to where I was writing from the heart without any particular goal in mind. I wanted to write and put myself out there and put my thoughts out into the world without fear of feeling vulnerable. I just wanted to write about JiuJitsu again.
I made a goal to write everyday despite what kind of B.S. spewed out onto the screen. I wanted to write and have something everyday. I got rid of my “routines” and just started to write when the time struck. Yesterday, the time didn’t strike and I’m not upset about it.
Throughout my life, I have been upset with myself about a lot. I have beat myself up over a lot. I realize after the fact that missing things here and there isn’t something to beat myself up over. Sometimes life gets in the way and we aren’t able to write or train or do what needs to be done.
The world doesn’t end when you can’t find time to train. Understand why it happened, accept it and move on. Train for the sake of training. Learn for the sake of learning. Create for the sake of creating…
JiuJitsu, like writing for me, should be an end to a means and not a means to an end.